~
I know I love you
But, dear, when it comes to you
I’m never sure why.
~
Nor, it seems, are you.
But, dear, when it comes to that,
I’m too scared to push.
~
You love me, you say
But, dear, it scares me so much
Hearing what I need.
~
I try explaining
But, dear, when it’s said to you,
Words always fall short.
~
I take time to trust
But, dear, when it came to you,
I forgot briefly.
~
My voice stumbles, falls,
And, dear, I fear it happens,
You misunderstand.
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Meant as confession,
You take offense, but that was
Not ever what I meant.
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You are everything
I prayed for all those long years
When I had nothing.
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You, my dear, all that
Never seemed possessable
But, dear, I was wrong.
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I have told you this
But, dear, so have too many more.
I’m too weak to shout.
~
You first, you tell me.
Belief comes harder than trust
So I fear to call
~
In fear of the day
I rely to no reply
So please forgive me.
~
I want to share all
But I’m not half who you are –
I cannot lose you.
~
You’re leaving too soon
What will I do without you?
No one else loves me.
~
My sweet, sweet heart, love,
You’ve restored crushed hope, I thought
But now I wonder
~
Was it therapy
Or an anti-depressant?
I will find out soon.
~
I want to beg you
And elicit promises
But bondage breeds fight.
~
Repression always,
Now I see regression too.
Old cures come to mind.
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It is a dark road
One I’ll make sure you won’t see
For whose good, can’t say.
~
Don’t fault my brusqueness
I use it like lavender
Or as reminders.
~
I want you to know
With absolute assuredness
That, dear, you are loved;
~
If even you take
A thing from me, from our years,
That it be just this.
~
You are loved, my dear.
You are my role model, dear.
You are beautiful.
~