Entertainment Daily

Monday, July 29, 2013

BAND (verb)

1: to affix a band to or tie up with a band

2: to finish or decorate with a band

3: to gather together : unite

 

“It’ll take the zombie apocalypse to bring them together after this fight,” my mother said gleefully. She hated the neighbors with a passion only equaled by hipsters’ hate of pop music. Or my hate for exercise. And my mother, when she asked me to exercise. In fact, that’s the only reason I was indulging in her ridiculous hobby of Bay-Window-Watch. Weekdays, 5pm, central time. I was hoping it would distract her from forcing me to go dawdle outdoors all day. An hour would keep her busy until I could use “It’s getting dark” as a just-barely-valid excuse for not going out.

Secretly, I kind of like the neighbors. I’ve had neighbors like my mother where I live. So I had a sort of vindictive wish for them to band together in a show of marital harmony for at least The Hour, thereby keeping nosiness at bay (ha ha) one more day.

A sudden intake of breath brought me back to reality. “Ooh, she’s picked up a knife – I think she’s gonna throw it!” my mother was at the edge of her seat, almost rubbing her hands in excitement.

Alarmed, I looked over in earnest for the first time: she did have a kitchen knife raised in her hand. I took my phone out of my pocket to call 911 and fumbled with the screen lock. (Argh…I thought smartphones were supposed to make life easier!)

Just as I was about to punch the digits in, I heard another gasp, and then a deflated mutter. Looking up, I saw the couple with their arms around each other. My mother took off with a violent huff, her entertainment ruined. I stayed an extra fifteen minutes and kept an ear open all night, just in case. “I think I’m gonna drop by the neighbors’ tomorrow morning,” I said casually to Dad over dinner, “just to see how they’re doing.”

 

 

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8 comments on “Entertainment Daily

  1. Funny that you should write this story at this time. My family and I had our home burglarized while we were on vacation a week and a bit ago. When we got back and were able to talk to one of the investigating officers, he informed us that he had canvassed the neighbourhood in search of witnesses and had started with a house across the street and two houses down because, in his opinion, they looked like “watchers”. Every neighbourhood has them…….and, oh, some of the things they must see. :). Thanks for linking up this week. I am appreciating having something fun to do this week while the insurance adjusters and police officers do their thing at my home.

      • No one saw anything even though they usually see everything. Luckily, no one I care about was hurt and the damage to our house was minimal. Things can always be replaced. Thanks for your concern. šŸ™‚

        • Yes that’s the most important thing, isn’t it? My grandparents had something like this happen too, and I’m just thankful they weren’t at home at the time. All the best to you guys, take care šŸ™‚

  2. We call this type of neighbor a “Mrs. Kravitz” (from Bewitched). They may seem odd and be annoying but the neighborhood, in general, needs them for their watchfulness. You told this well. Ditto Tom on the link up!

  3. I about choked on “Bay-Window-Watch” – clever and downright funny!

    I think neighbor watching is an odd form of entertainment, but I guess it’s cheaper than cable (and no commercials or re-runs.) I think when the narrator visits, a suggestion should be made about putting up (and using) window coverings!

ask. debate. scribble.

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